Nothin' but Love

"When books attack" is what I like to call the minor trauma that Gia goes through when she falls victim to one of her cardboard paged books. Occasionally, Gia will close her finger into a book and as she's crying out in pain, trying to pull it out, she is simultaneously squeezing the book closed with her free hand. When she does this I have to shake my head lovingly and smile a little at how cute she is. A friend of mine said recently that this is how she imagines God is with us. When we mess up or slip into our old nature, God just looks at us, shakes his head lovingly, smiles, and maybe giggles just a little at how cute we are. Even when Gia is kicking when I'm trying to change her, or when she spits out her broccoli, it's endearing. It's fun to watch a child grow and to see the big picture, God thinks so too.
I grew up in the church. Some of my earliest memories are on the church playground and in Discovery day camp. So the knowledge that Jesus loves me has never been astounding, actually, it has been quite taken for granted. Sure, Jesus loves me and my parents love me and the sky is blue. It almost smacks of indoctrination; Jesus loves me, the Bible tells me so. I've known how rad that is, and have appreciated it. Really. The creator of the universe loves me personally, that's big. Recently though, the beauty of this perfect love was made clear to me, the absoluteness of this wonderful truth made an impact. God's love is perfect! It's absolute, it's without fault, it's complete. It's hard to understand the completeness of this love because we are so imperfect in the way we love each other. We have conditions, our own agendas, we see faults, but the Lord does not. His love will knock your socks off!
I am blessed to be associated with this totally awesome prayer ministry. These people are so gifted and hear and see the Lord clearly while praying. I had never been prophesied over or been given words so directly from the Lord until I was prayed for by them. There I stood, taking God's love for granted, abusing the very grace by which I live and He completely showered me in love; "My beloved", "my love", "dear one", "I am well pleased", "I am so pleased with you", "you are so beautiful", "well done", "I always have time just for you", "my beloved daughter". I'd half expected to hear, "I love you but you're (insert sin) and you shouldn't" or "You're good, but spend more time in the Word and then we'll really talk". All those times I've stood squeezing my own finger into my own book, the Lord has truly looked at me lovingly, shaking his head and smiling a bit at how cute I am. He sees us as he created us, wholly completely and perfectly.
In my first prayer session with this team the Lord had a message for me about my identity. He told me that I was more than just a mother. He said that I am his daughter and that he made me a mother so that I'd more fully understand his love for me. I've always known that my identity is in Him. I am a daughter of the King. I've always known this, but at some point began listening to the lies that were spoken over me and traded in my identity as princess for a myriad of different identities that while fun, were never quite as perfect as the one Christ has given me. So now, I've once again stepped into my identity in Christ, this time with humbling awe at the perfect and complete love in which he enfolds me, and this time as a mother. Maybe that is why the name "mommy blog" grosses me out, I still squirm thinking about it. I really think that if everyone, even Christians, fully understood how perfect and whole the love that the Lord has for us is, they wouldn't search elsewhere for completion. Abide in that love, swim in it, soak it up, let every cell in your body feel loved because it is, completely.

Sunday morning Quarterback

Dave here.
Today is January 13, 2008 and the San Diego Chargers are playing the Indianapolis Colts in Indianapolis at 10am this morning. Of course pre-game is on and playing in the background as I write, Gia plays and Anne does the breakfast dishes. BTW- Breakfast was delicious, scrambled eggs, little smokies and grapes. I ask Gia "where's the football?" and she points to the ball. We often play toss in the living room, actually rolling the ball back and forth. And she loves it when I spin the ball on its nose like I just scored a touchdown. Kobe our girl dog will even get into the act and grab her stuffed toy and sit next to us as she chews and makes the toy squeak. Gia has a Charger cheerleading outfit that she will wear most Sundays. Every Sunday she's worn her outfit the Chargers have won. The times she hasn't they've lost. Chargers record is 11-5. Gia doesn't really pay too much attention during the games but does recognize the football on TV and the football in our living room are the same. She also knows when something good happens because Daddy erupts in loud obnoxious cheering which almost scares her. She's has actually gotten very use to it and knows that it's good. Usually she'll fall asleep during the game and I have to let her know what happened when she wakes up.
As for the Chargers, this has been a trying season for SD fans like every season. I've recently dedicated myself to the Chargers because I am finally feeling like a San Diego native. Being a Charger fan is tough deal. Last year they went 14-2 and then lost in the first game of the playoffs. They have been labeled as the most talented team in the league but have not been able to get past the first round of the playoffs. This year finally for the first time since 1994 the Chargers have won a playoff game. In 1994 they went to the Superbowl but of course in famous Charger style got blown out by the Steve Young, San Francisco 49ers. In 1994, I didn't mind so much because I still was a devout 49er fan because as most of you know I grew up in the Bay Area. Now because I've been living in the SD for almost 17 years........
Sorry to leave you hanging but the game just started. More later.
Love,
Dave.

Ready for bed

I was talking to a friend, who just moved across the country, a few nights ago (yeah, you know who you are!). When I told her that I was starting a blog, she asked me if it was a "mommy blog". My knee jerk reaction was an emphatic no. A "mommy blog"?...eeew. The words themselves make my skin crawl. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom, but something about the label really grosses me out. I guess it's just the fact that it is a label that bothers me. I've always resisted labels or anything else that would pin me down. I wouldn't join The Girl Scouts, no way; and I've always sought out my independence, freedom from what is expected. Those are the key words right there, freedom from what is expected.
Her question did give me something to think about though. What is my blog going to be about? There will certainly be a lot of mommy in my blogging because it is what I do, twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. I've been cruising through various blogs today and find that I am already quite addicted to this little blogging community. Why didn't I do this sooner? I'm excited about reading blogs by people who have the same interests that I do, learning things, following stories, and corresponding. My blog has been taking shape in my mind all day, we'll just see if this tired mommy can keep up.
That said, it has been a crazy day of sleep deprivation here in the Manriquez house. Gia woke up at 1:00 last night, which is standard and then she woke up at 3:30 which is pretty standard too ( it's usually 4:00, but whose keeping count?). Only, last night (or early morning I should say) I couldn't get her back to sleep. By 5:00 I went and woke up Dave because I thought a different set of hands would do the trick. Boy, was I wrong. She just became more awake. I'm too dang tired to go into all the details of our little myriad of wakefulness, but let's just say it wasn't pretty. We finally stopped trying as the 6 o'clock hour approached and just let her play. I thought I could get some breakfast into her and then nurse her back down by about 7, but I was wrong there too. Finally, around 8 I put her in the car and drove. She was out before we even left the neighborhood. It was just one really bad, botched up mess of an early morning. Then tonight, she actually resisted going down to bed. And here I am tweaking out on the computer! Don't I know how tired I am...don't I realize!
Thanks for reading this rambling, disjointed, mommy of a blog. Goodnight.

G-bean

Gia-bean is having quite a day. She's teething again and nothing is quite right for her this morning. Graham crackers make her happy as do her books. You can't go wrong reading a book to this little one, she might just read along with you. Another thing that is working for us today is singing Old Mac Donald. She has always calmed down when being sung to but one of her newly acquired tricks is actually participating in the song. She does hand motions now to The Wheels On The Bus and The Itsy-Bitsy Spider. Her newest one however is to sing "ee-iii, ee-iii", she doesn't do the "ooo" part yet, but we'll get there. She also does "baa" whenever there is a sheep on Old Mac Donald's farm. Beyond the graham crackers, books and songs, little else is giving this mama a break. I can't complain though, she is a wonderful baby with an adorable and blossoming personality. We all have our cranky face days if only we were all soothed by crackers and books.